Archive: April 2018

& what it means to me


Self care is a phrase that's only recently entered my vocabulary. It's banded about everywhere nowadays though - YouTubers will urge you to buy their new bath bomb as part of a "self care routine" and even big brands are hopping onto the self care bandwagon.

When these people/companies preach about self care, what they ACTUALLY mean is "treat yourself and give us your money". And this is a very different thing to self care, mostly because a new face mask is not going to cure your anxiety or make you mentally healthier.

Additionally, if you are having money problems which are bringing you down, then this idea of having to spend to look after yourself is truly toxic. It's also just not true.

Looking after yourself and improving your well-being does not need you to dig deep into your pockets. As someone recovering from depression and travelling on a budget, without a bath for bombing or an oven for baking, I'm going to share with you my self care rituals and goals.

Being present in the moment

I am so sorry about how hippy and wishy-washy that sounds but hear me out... So last Summer my mama found this course on "mindfulness" (another trendy word at the mo) at the Mac in Birmingham and I decided to give it a go.

It really wasn't very good... I felt very silly doing the exercises and I made friends with an 80 year old lady who laughed at the sessions' ridiculousness even more than I did.

But now, I realise that I did take some things away from it - such as living in the moment. It's so easy to sleep walk through life; to tune out while doing a task or to just do things without taking it in. I am still guilty of it. But snapping out of it and purposefully trying to concentrate on the now, letting go of worries about the past or future and just enjoying the moment is so good for your brain.

Immersing yourself in nature

Just going for a walk and being surrounded by greenery is so healing. Breathing in fresh air, noticing the details and textures in the plants and keeping an eye out for wildlife. There's nothing like it and it's the best free therapy.

Focusing on experiences, not things

Before travelling, I used to have a lot of things - clothes, books, decorations, general tat. I had to get rid of a lot of stuff so that I could fit my life into half a van (maybe more than half as I still have more stuff than Ross!). Since actually moving into the van, I now know that I could have got rid of a lot more and I probably will throw it out when we return home.

It's easy to hide things away in drawers and boxes and cupboards but getting rid of all the extra baggage floating around is kind of therapeutic. When I was cleaning everything out, I found things from my ex boyfriend and tough times in my life and it felt SO good to chuck them away!

We are also living on a strict budget now so I don't buy anything that I don't *need*. I am operating on a one-in, one-out basis so things have to break before I replace them.

Instead of getting pleasure from buying things, I'm enjoying my experiences and adventures. Going somewhere new; getting back to nature; learning something historical; spending time with someone who makes you laugh. These memories are worth so much more than material items and will definitely make you happier in the long run.

Getting rid of lists

I've already written a blog post about when I got rid of my lists. But essentially, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My lists and schedules had really been stressing me out and making me feel down.

Recently, my wonderful friend Zoe (check out her blog here) told me that instead of writing lists of things she had to do, she only wrote things down once she had done them. Therefore at the end of each day or week etc, she could feel good about her achievements. Achievements can be big or small - from getting out of bed or doing some cleaning, to planning a trip or doing some more of an essay. I think that is a wonderful way to celebrate what we've done, instead of worrying about what we haven't.

Writing down or talking about feelings

You don't have to keep your jumbled up, confusing feelings in your head. They can be voiced. If I'm feeling really shitty or confused, I like to write a letter about what I'm feeling. Just a lil tip though- don't send these letters to other people because feelings can be transient and the letters are for you alone. I usually delete them afterwards because the letters are not a record, but are instead a way for me to order my thoughts. Once they are in order, I can start thinking about how to counter the bad feelings, fix situations and work on any problems that caused the feelings.

I also think it is important to talk about persistent feelings. It is good to share and often other people can give you advice or an alternative perspective on a problem.

Doing more physical exercise

I am baaaaad at this one at the moment. When we were in France, we went on morning runs on most days but since arriving in Spain, we haven't ran once. I'm going to blame the snow and torrential rain... But I think mostly we just forget.

I hate running. My body literally screams "NO! GO BACK TO BED AND NEVER LEAVE IT AGAIN!" with every stride, but it does make me feel better afterwards. Not physically better, but instead there's a smug little Sarah in my brain saying "See?! I told you that I could do it.". That feels pretty good if I am being honest so I should start going again...

One of my favourite exercises is swimming but unfortunately Ross didn't think to fit a swimming pool in the van so I'm stuck with running, I suppose.

We do a lot of hiking and walking though, which leaves my legs nice and sore, indicating that something good is happening down there in my limbs. Walking is great for the soul too - lots of time for thinking or chatting away to your walking partner (Ross is slowly getting my entire life history from these walks).

Realising you are worthy

The most important thing about self care is that we are all worthy of it. Our happiness and wellbeing is so important and it doesn't matter who you are, how much money you have, what you do. We need to look after ourselves and each other. Take care and let me know if you have any self care tips that I haven't mentioned!

I'm not exactly a high profile blogger... But since I've started this blog, I've realised I do need to be mindful of the messages I send out with my content.

I know that whatever the subject matter of a post, I want to be kind. Racist, anti-LGBTQ+, body-shaming or any other hateful comments are not welcome on this blog, by anyone. And it's really important to me that my posts are a space to discuss difficult issues that I (and, potentially, readers) have come across and to offer help and advice where I can. I don't want my blog to become negative or to be used to bring myself or others down.

A few months ago, for example, I wrote a post about my "problem" with snacking and it was pretty popular. But the more I thought about it, the less comfortable I was about the article I had written. I didn't want to be advocating the idea that snacking at all is a problem - it's healthy to snack - and besides, I'm not a nutritionist or in any way qualified to talk about food. So I've deleted the post and feel much better about it - and about my snacking which I no longer punish myself for.

I was also worried that it could exacerbate someone's eating disorder, even just a little bit, and I couldn't stand that possibility. I want my blog to stand for positive mental health stories, not for making anyone's illnesses worse.

Thinking about responsible blogging also makes me think about the more general world of blogging and of sponsorship and adverts. Ads are almost synonymous with the word "blogger" nowadays so it is definitely something that needs to be thought about carefully.

As an influencer, even if you are getting a product for free to review as you like, I think that serious questions need to be asked before agreeing to take the product or service to your blog. Questions such as... Is it an ethical product/service - is it or its production harming people/animals/the environment? Will it genuinely help my readers to tell them about this product/service?

Again, these are not things that I really thought about at all when first blogging a couple of years ago. But I'm trying to be much more aware of where my things come from, especially clothes and food and beauty products. Kind and cruelty free products are not necessarily more expensive but do take more effort to find. I think that these things are worth the effort though.

As with blogging about anything, buying things can be easily done without much thought and it's exactly what I used to do. But I'm trying now to be more aware and careful, not only about my content, but also my lifestyle.

Essentially, my aim for this blog is to be realistic and honest whilst spreading positive messages and creating dialogue. It's also about self improvement and becoming a better, kinder person.

This also means it's important to be open to corrections and to being educated, so if I ever write something that is seen to be offensive or ignorant, then please message me so I know and can change it.

I really hope that this little website can be positive and relatable. So welcome everyone to my blog - I hope it can help you as it is helping me.
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